Don’t Ever Give Up On Yourself: Maureen’s Story of Overcoming Panic
November 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment
How Did It Start?
As a child, I was a worrier – nervous, timid and shy. At social events or in new situations, I felt afraid and my heart would race. Yet, I didn’t have my first panic attack until I was 22 years old.
I had just completed my junior year of college in England. It was the night before I was to return to the States. I awoke from a sound sleep with the most terrifying feeling of fear, and with an equally strong urge to run outside. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to explode. I was covered in sweat.
It wasn’t until I was in my late twenties that I experienced my next panic attack. I was under tremendous stress from events in my life. My father had been sick for many years, and he was losing a long, hard battle. My father and I were very close. He was the most significant person in my life. I don’t have a vocabulary to articulate the intense pain I felt when he passed. At the same time, I was downsized from my job, my relationship ended, my roommate and I parted ways, and I moved to a new city.
What Was The Suffering Like?
At this time, the panic attacks began to happen on a daily basis. Throughout the day, I would have waves of panic washing over me. I felt afraid of everything. I experienced object distortion, drug-like states of disorientation, scary thoughts and shortness of breath.
I had no idea what was happening to me – or why – so I just kept living my life. I told no one. The only problem was my life was getting smaller and smaller with each passing day. Eventually, it got so bad and my life was so small, I had to seek out professional help.
Diagnosis
The first therapist I went to misdiagnosed me; she said I was suffering from ‘situational stress’. She had no knowledge of panic disorder. The therapy gave me some relief by addressing and reducing the symptoms of my panic, but it didn’t address the panic itself. Thus, although my panic stopped for a while eventually it came back. I had a similar experience with my second therapist. Again, the therapist had no experience or training in panic disorder, thus the therapy only offered temporary relief.
About 5 years after I started to seek help, I finally diagnosed myself, through my own self-education. I then searched for and found a therapist who specialized in anxiety and panic.
In my first session with my new therapist, I told her all my symptoms and what I had been going through all these years. To my amazement, she raised her right hand in a dismissive motion and nonchalantly said, “Its just panic. It’s completely curable. Consider yourself lucky.”
I will never forget the sense of relief her words gave me. It was a turning point in my life – the point when I started to reclaim my life.
My new therapist was trained in the “MAP program”, developed by Dr. David Barlow. “MAP” is short for “Mastery of your Anxiety and Panic”. We immediately embarked upon this course of treatment, which is a cognitive-behavioral program specifically designed for overcoming panic disorder.
However, before we could finish the process, my therapist moved out of state, and we had to end our work together. She referred me to the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University. The Center is run by Dr. Barlow and is the premier facility for treating panic disorder.
Healing
The first thing I had to do at the Center was to undergo an in-depth, four-hour evaluation. The intake nurse asked me every conceivable question concerning my scary thoughts, depression, social situations, behavior, etc. After the intake, my case was discussed at the weekly staff meeting. Then, I was assigned a therapist who would work with me on a weekly basis throughout the three-month program.
The first part of the program centered on education. I learned all about the biology, psychology and history of panic. I learned what was happening to my body when I panic, why it was happening and what all the sensations meant. I also learned about the factors leading to a predisposition for panic.
Education was a very comprehensive part of the program, and it helped me tremendously. I finally knew what was happening to me and that I wasn’t crazy! My panic was simply a manifestation of stress.
Next, I learned how I had associated my bodily sensations as triggers for a panic attack – how I had actually created my own panic. Then, we worked on “cognitive reframing” – changing the way I thought about my bodily sensations.
One of the most important things I learned during this process was how our thoughts create chemical reactions in our brains. If I think a certain way, a certain chemical reaction is going to take place, causing a certain result. Thus: change the thought – change the chemical reaction – and change the result. Basically, our brain can act as our own “pharmacy”.
Next, we moved on to recreating the sensations which triggered my panic. We actually induced panic attacks! I needed to experience panic so I could use my new “cognitive reframing” skills and develop new behavior in relation to panic. I also needed to experience panic repeatedly, so I would understand it wasn’t going to hurt me.
This was the most frightening thing I have ever done – to invite panic. Yet, the quickest way to recovery is to truly understand that panic is your own creation and there is no reason to be afraid of it. Once you do this, you take all the power out of panic.
My program lasted three months and today I am panic free. I still get anxious sometimes, but I don’t turn it into panic.
Today
Today, I view my panic disorder as a gift. It helped me to become brave.
In addition to my cognitive-behavioral skills, I practice deep relaxation breathing. Through my daily relaxation breathing, I have come to experience a deep sense of peace, calmness and strength.
My Message to Others
I lived with panic – and the feeling there was something wrong with me – for well over 15 years before I found the help I needed. I had lots of false starts, but I never gave up on myself. Eventually, I accomplished my goal to become panic free. My road was bumpy. There were days when I didn’t know if I had the courage to endure the severe panic attacks I was experiencing in therapy, but my desire to recover was stronger than my fear.
Don’t ever give up on yourself and your ability to rid yourself of panic. Panic is a learned behavior. If you have mastered the skill of bringing on panic attacks, give yourself a pat on the back for having learned to do that! Now, it is time for a new goal: to master the art of living a life free of panic.
If I can do it, you can do it. If you would like to contact me, please feel free to email me at smallhands123@yahoo.com. I’m happy to help someone on their road to recovery.
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Interview with Homeopath Cathleen Springer
November 18, 2007 | 2 Comments
Long before she had ever tried alternative medicine, California resident Cathleen Springer suffered from debilitating Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. For four and a half painful and frustrating years, doctor after doctor offered her little to no relief–and then she visited a Homeopath. Her healing began instantly, and she eventually experienced a complete recovery. Now she practices Homeopathy herself–helping people overcome a variety of ills like autoimmune disorders, migraines, women’s hormonal imbalance issues, grief states, depression, and even ADHD.
Read more
Muriel’s Bongo Surprise
November 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Muriel was 95 years old when I first met her and drummed with her. She was a resident at an assisted living community at which I did therapeutic drumming programs whenever I could.
She immediately took to the bongos, the small, paired Afro-Cuban drums. Over the course of several sessions Muriel became quite the bongo player; able to hold simple parts and even weave her own improvisations into the group rhythms.
During breaks in the drumming, we would talk about ourselves and our lives and Muriel once said, as many other residents did, how she loved visits from her family, but did not like their pity and sadness for her.
Later, as I was bringing in the instruments before one of our sessions, I could see Muriel beaming brightly with something she wanted to tell me.
“Jim”, she said, “my great grandchildren just asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and guess what I told them!? I told them I wanted a pair of bongos… you should have seen the looks on their faces!”
The pixie in her reveled in the thought of her family’s reaction to this new, secret life of hers and that their usual looks of pity were changed to surprise and joy!
(I wrote a longer version of this story for the book, The Healing Power Of The Drum, by Robert L. Friedman, published by White Cliffs Media in 2000)
Jim Greiner
Community Drumming Leader, Speaker, and Author
Hand’s On Drumming
Soquel, CA
http://www.holisticwellness.com/profiles/handsondrum
Drumming in the Heartland
November 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment
In the mid-1990’s I was contracted to lead a community drumming program for a large city in the American “farm belt” as part of their annual civic festival. Many people from other regions of the country, and other nations, had moved into the area inThe organizer had heard about my work and wanted me to do my community building program to help them bring diverse elements of the population together. He was concerned that not many people would participate, since, in his words, “This is, after all ‘heartland America’ and may not be inclined to try new things.”
Over 200 people joined in! The organizer, and the participants themselves, were amazed that so many actually drummed together in such harmony.
Later, someone sent me some photos of the event with a note that read, “Take a close look at the man wearing the John Deere cap and standing on the edge of the crowd.”
I found him, a strongly build man with sunburnt arms and face. In the first photo he was standing erect, but leaning slightly back from the drumming group, his arms folded across his chest and with a look on his face that clearly said, “What the heck are these people doing?” In the second photo he was leaning slightly forward with his hands on his hips. A slight, friendly smile playing across his face. In a later photo, there he was… leaning forward at the waist, clapping his hands, with a huge grin that seemed to come from deeply within his heart.
I think about this man often, and admire him for how he allowed himself to be moved by the drumming to participate in something that he probably never imagined he would ever do! He is an inspiration to me whenever I may be feeling stuck in a rut. The term “heartland America” also has a new and profound meaning to me!
Jim Greiner
Community Drumming Leader, Speaker, and Author
Hand’s On Drumming
Soquel, CA
http://www.holisticwellness.com/profiles/handsondrum
Drumming Therapy for Addiction
November 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment
“I have worked in the field of chemical dependency for over four years, and for the last two years the Common Pulse facilitators have been bringing their wonderful drum circles into our outpatient group therapy sessions. They share their love of the music and the instruments in a readily accessible group activity, and the benefits to the clients are immediate. We observe smiles, laughter, playfulness, and a deeper group bond after the rhythm circles. The response is almost always “when will they be coming back again??”. I’d recommend Common Pulse to any treatment center.”
- Treatment Center Counselor
Client of Dave Chiller, MS
Common Pulse
Drumming Therapy/Drum Circle Facilitator
Corvallis, OR
http://www.holisticwellness.com/profiles/common-pulse
Wellness Visionary: The Man Who Laughed His Way To Health
November 16, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Norman Cousins, prominent political journalist, author, professor, and United Nations peace advocate is a man who laughed his way to health. In the mid-60’s, he developed a rare degenerative disease that caused the breakdown of collagen in his body. Paralyzed and given months to live, Cousins checked out of the hospital, moved into a hotel room, and took high doses of vitamin C and equally high doses of humor—under the care of an extremely open-minded physician.
Slowly, Cousins regained use of his limbs and his condition improved. He detailed his healing journey in the 1979 book, “Anatomy of an Illness.”
Norman Cousins is quoted as saying “It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing.”
Read More about Norman Cousins.
A Body-Mind-Spirit Approach to Overcoming Ovarian Cancer
November 16, 2007 | Leave a Comment
“In nearly every instance in which an individual commits to a significant change in diet, exercise, or other health practice, there is an incremental improvement in their state of health, even at an advanced age,” Dr. Anderson reports. Illustrating his point is the case of one of his patients, a sixty-four-year-old woman who developed widespread ovarian cancer. Surgery removed the bulk of the tumor, but significant amounts of the cancer remained. She refused chemotherapy. Respecting her choices, Dr. Anderson responded to her request that he help her to get well. Together they developed a comprehensive strategy to enhance her immunity, evoke her determination and will, improve all aspects of her lifestyle, and enhance her spiritual life, including forgiving a large number of people. One of her life’s greatest pleasures was attending opera. As part of her recovery, she saved her money to fulfill a lifelong dream and was able to hear some of the greatest stars of opera perform for three nights at La Scala in Milan, Italy. Later, surgery showed her cancer to be totally gone. She eventually died of unrelated causes after eight years of enjoyable, satisfying life, having accomplished what she wanted to do in this lifetime, while overcoming an aggressive cancer that could have taken her life a year after its discovery.”
Excerpted from The History and Philosophy of Holistic Medicine
Larry Trivieri, Jr. and AHMA
John Wiley and Sons, 2001
Robert Anderson, M.D., is a semiretired family doctor and president of the American Board of Holistic Medicine. He is an advisor for the medical journal Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine and author of A Clinician’s Guide to Holistic Medicine (McGraw-Hill, 2000).
Holistic Tip of the Day: Creating Sunshine This Winter
November 16, 2007 | Leave a Comment
As the days grow shorter with the dwindling of daylight consider some ways to bring ’sunshine’ into your life with self care. Commit to a simple daily practice of taking 5 minutes each morning to just be still and mindful of your breathing. Keep a journal and cite 3 things that you are grateful for on a daily basis. Make it a point to put work aside and connect with a friend on a weekly basis. Bundle up and get outside for some fresh air and exercise, enjoying the play of sunlight and the changes in natural light. Prepare a hearty stew or soup for yourself from locally grown, organic winter vegetables and savor the exquisite taste. And if you are literally looking to bring sun into your world try using a light box (for Seasonal Affective Disorder) each morning for a daily energetic boost.
Pamela K Burris RN, MSN, AHN-BC
Holistic Health Connections
Holistic Health Coach and Registered Nurse
Pelham, MA
www.holisticwellness.com/profiles/pkayburris
Holistic Weight Loss: Don’t Diet. Live It!
November 8, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Before my recovery, I was obsessed with chocolate chip cookies. I sometimes spent entire days driving to different places in my search of the perfect cookie (you know, the one that would satisfy you forever!). I sometimes spent entire evenings mixing up batter, only to devour it all before it even got into the oven. Of course, I considered cookies to be “bad” foods, and on my “good” days I never ate them. I thought that as fat as I was, I shouldn’t eat cookies if I truly wanted to lose weight like I said I did.
When I started my recovery, I couldn’t have cookies in my Live-It (program) because I was so fearful of them. My panic about eating even one would drive me to eat too many. Also, because I still considered cookies “bad”, the part of me that liked them always thought, “This is the last time I will ever eat chocolate chip cookies,” and, therefore, I wanted to eat as many as I possibly could. After all, I’d never get the chance to eat them again!
Eventually, because I could never seem to cut cookies out of my life, I began to realize that it didn’t kill me to eat them. In fact, the more I allowed them to be part of my Live-It, the less fear they instilled, and the less desperate I was to have them. My process of letting go of my fear and judgment about cookies, along with numerous calls I made for support, and working on the emotional issues that caused me to numb myself out with cookies in the first place, led me to freedom from my cookie obsession. I am no longer controlled by cookies. If I notice them becoming problematic, I turn to my support system until I can figure out what feelings I am trying to suppress. When I handle my feelings, cookies are no longer an issue.
Today, a cookie is just a cookie. I can eat one, or not eat one. I can even love cookies at times - because they’re not an obsession. Ironically, when cookies were a “bad” food, and I was trying to avoid them in order to control my weight, I weighed a lot more than I do today. Decriminalizing cookies (and other “bad” foods), and letting go of “weight-control” were important aspects to the eventual attainment of my natural weight.
Many of us have been living by rule books, and trying to manipulate our weight for so long that we have no idea what our natural weight is. Often we have an irrational fear that our body would just keep growing and growing if we didn’t control it. But, unless you have a medical condition that causes weight gain, this is only true if you are not addressing your emotional needs.
Also, many people have a distorted body image. We believe that we have gained weight, when in fact we haven’t. We believe that we’re fat when, in fact, we aren’t. This is because we connect feelings with “fat” and can’t tell the difference. We know we feel something, but since we can’t identify the feeling, we think it must be about weight. “Huge feelings” can make us feel huge!
If you feel out of control regarding your weight, and a doctor has ruled out any medical problems, the only solution is to focus on your inner needs. Weight control is not a solution. In fact, weight control leads to “weight out-of-control.”
Excerpted from The Don’t Diet Live-It Workbook:
Healing Food, Weight, and Body Issues
Andrea Wachter, LMFT and Marsea Marcus, LMFT
Gurze Books: 1999
http://holisticwellness.com/profiles/innersolutions
Holistic Tip of the Day: Good Posture is Good Health
November 8, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Did you know that your posture could be affecting your health? Good posture is very important in maintaining good communication in your nervous system. Poor posture places stresses on your muscles, bones, and ligaments that over time can lead to chronic degenerative conditions. So sit up straight! Have your posture checked by your local chiropractor or health care physician.
Tunis C Hunt Jr, D.C.
Hunt Chiropractic
Doctor of Chiropractic
Charlotte, NC
www.holisticwellness.com/profiles/DrTunisjr